I am in a funk so that, "you never know what you're gonna get" thing, you all say you like about me is about to be put to the test. So I was recently the lucky recipient of yet another lecture about behavior. This one was short, to the point and not directed solely at me but did contain one of my least favorite phrases. "We must be above reproach in every aspect of our lives"... So, here comes the Amy rant...
All I hear when this phrase comes out is "we must be unapproachable". I know that is so not what the speaker meant in his heart and yet... as always, I wonder what that looks like to people. I am not above reproach in like ANY part of my life. I screw up almost constantly. I am like some long running joke that never looses the comedic timing! I have made a lifestyle of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong place to the wrong people. The more pristine someones life looks on the outside the more I swear I can smell melting plastic when they stand in direct sunlight! There is nothing appealing to me about people who act like they have it all together. I just want to say "oh, you have it all together... you're above reproach... you are the continuous picture of holiness... well hurry up and die already because you're done... DING! timer went off.... you're perfect!" (which I realize sounds very uncharitable). Now for my even tempered response...
I understand we are to strive to live out our faith. It just seems to me that the more genuine someone is about their faults and shortcomings the more I feel like I can talk to them. The more open they are about their struggles, the more I realize I am not alone in mine. The problem with attempting to live above reproach is that it can't be done. There will always be someone who sees you, hears you, or is told something about you that they disagree with. The only one who will be surprised by this reproachability is you! I honestly think that this is a severe accident of misinterpretation (wow... I am so thankful for spellcheck right now) of the Bible. I believe it hurts people... I know it has hurt me. Now, finally for my bottom line...
Above Reproach = Unapproachable = Bigger canyon between you and those you are trying to reach! Don't like my math?.... It's my blog! I can say it if I want to... you can have your turn too... just look down and click on the word comment baby!
Unreasonable?
8 months ago
10 comments:
I'm *really* not convinced that "unapproachable" and "above reproach" are the same.
When I think "unapproachable" I think "aloof."
Help me out here.
Then what does above reproach mean? Everytime I try to difine it out loud... I don't like the way it sounds...
I google define above reproach... it didn't hurt my case...
You know...I think I might have misread you. I thought you were saying that WAS the definition, but you're saying that's what you think the definition is. So I get it, now.
As far as what you wrote. I don't think you're off base. Not in the slightest. And I'm with you. I would much prefer a real, honest, mistake-making kind of faith than any other kind. Because the beauty of us NOT being Jesus, but getting to follow Him, is that we WILL make mistakes and we will learn from them. And others will learn from our mistakes. And we will learn from others' mistakes.
The one thing I see where ALL should be cautioned is not to be so "approachable" that you're loving someone INTO hell instead of out of it. Does that make sense? That's a big trend in today's church...to be "kewl", to run with the "kewl" crowd, in order to draw more to Christ. Which is PERFECTLY fine as long as we don't become so embroiled in things that so obviously are not of Jesus that we're actually MISleading someone to Christ. You follow?
Point well made and well taken my friend. I told you I respect your opinion more than most because I don't know that I have seen a faith as geniune and honest in a very long time. You have a heart for the lost and that is my absolute favorite thing about you.
Sheesh. Next time offer up some Kleenex when you write those things. ;-)
Hey Amy - I'm right there with you!!! I can't stand the people that act like they have the perfect little home, with the perfect little kids, driving the perfect little Lexus, with perfect little "private school" status, and of course, the perfect body and wardrobe. Under all that veneer they face the same trials we all do but they just try to hide it in an attempt to "be somebody". Run!!! That type of woman will only be a friend as long as you fit the stereotype that she considers important. You want and "need" good 'ol down to earth women that love the Lord through all the hardships and wear the battle scars proudly with GRACE!
Now - as far as living above reproach....here is my take on that subject. I can dig up the verses, maybe tomorrow, but right now I'm in a drug induced stupor trying to get over some very nasty bronchitis. Anyway...living above reproach has to do with ongoing decisions NOT the daily struggles that we all go through. A so-called Christian the is living a homosexual lifestyle and trying to justify it is NOT living above reproach. A so-called Christian that has a girlfriend living with him while he is still married is NOT living above reproach (that one hits too close to home!). A so-called Christian that makes a point to leave his family every week and go party with the boys and get drunk is NOT living above reproach. Until these people confess their sins and work on changing they continue to be "reproachable" to GOD. They are acting in a disgraceful and discrediting manner to their so-called faith.
Now.....sweetie.....we ALL have daily struggles with "life". Our anger can boil over, our patience can wear thin, our language can be hurtful, and sometimes we can just be disguting human beings. That's part of sanctification. We ask GOD for forgiveness, strength to make better decisions the next time, and move on with HIM by our side. That's what is SO amazing about GRACE!
Sweetie - your are a wonderful, unique, and beautiful sister in Christ. Just be you. That's why we love you!!! That's exactly why your blog "sucked" me in to hopefully creating a beautiful Christian relationship with you - even though we are half a county away.
Rest in GOD's grace and the knowledge that he love's us no matter what, no matter where, and forever and always!!
Mickey (a very battered but peaceful "princess" because my father is THE KING!)
When I read your blog I saw someone who has been badly hurt repeatedly and is afraid it will happen again.
Know that you are loved, Jesus is the only judge.
Jen
I agree with the other comments as well. I would also like to add that for me it's all about what I'm striving for. Am I striving to be more godly or more worldly? Am I striving to please God or man?
The way I answer those questions puts my behavior into light, and I can answer for myself if I am living above reproach or not ~ I don't need someone else to tell me.
However, the way we show Christ to others through our actions is very important, because our actions/words can be misleading (as Right Wing Mama said). We don't want to be fake, but we DO need to be striving for what is holy. :D
Hmmmm. I love your blogs. I don't always agree with all of it, but they definitely make me think. And that's important. Because if we stop thinking, then what's the point? So, thanks.
As far as living above reproach vs being un-approachable... it is possible to strive to live above reproach yet still be approachable. The important part is the striving, not the achieving. We should strive to live above reproach, knowing fully that we all have epic fails - daily.
Well, that's my 2 cents...not that you need it.
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