Friday, February 1, 2013

This is How Coffeehouses Get a Reputation...

Oh the joy of being a verbal processor.  For some people, a coffeehouse is just a location to imbibe in a hot beverage with some alternative music selection playing in the background, drowning out the brilliant insight (right along with the not so brilliant), separated only by table space.  For others, it is a land mine of possibilities and a location to forever picture in the minds eye when referencing "the moment" when clarity struck the heart like a branch of white lightning on a moonless night.  Wow, that was pretty poetic... even for me.

I have a weird track record of having things, places and people removed from my sphere of influence and my life with little to no notice.  Living this way makes a person learn to not look back much and try to forever be looking for the new adventurous opportunity.  Sometimes, a person finds something that they really genuinely love and are passionate about.  That thing that makes them feel alive and purposeful. When this thing is removed, they may try to move on (as I have) but find that they cannot ignore something so ingrained in who they are and want to be (as I have).

MOPS.  It stands for Mothers Of  Pre-Schoolers.  I am no longer one.  I served in this ministry for over 10 years of my life.  It has been the source of my greatest joy and my greatest pain.  It wasn't until this week that I really realized that it still holds my heart captive in a way I could or would not have imagined.  I miss it.  I miss it so much.  I look back and see all I learned.  I look ahead and see how much I have to offer.  If it were not for the mentors I had at that age and stage I could never have had the confidence to be the mom I needed to be.  I want desperately to give that to other young moms now.  I want to be a part of them learning to trust themselves and have confidence in what they are doing and how they are doing it.  I feel a desire and call to be a voice of reason and hope in a time when they are bombarded with opinions and information that most times just makes it all harder.  As I spoke to my friend about how I cherished the opportunity to just "be there" for these moms with young ones, I was forced to face the fact that I do know what I am called to do and I am not doing it (not right now).  The number one thing I have to offer is the confidence in yourself, that comes from a seasoned mom (with kids a couple steps ahead) admitting what worked, what didn't and why I think that might be.

Public Service Announcement:  Coffeehouses are dangerous places.  They make you end up telling tales you meant to carry to the grave, admitting mistakes, gazing long into the mirror of the soul to find what you fear, desire and love... to be the same thing.  You have been warned.